by Alison
I’ve been thinking about poetry lately.
Where do I want to go with haiku? What new areas do I want to explore? And specifically, do I want to stay exclusive with 5 - 7 - 5?
Then I happened upon the results of the fifteenth Caribbean Kigo Kukai haiku contest hosted by Gillena Cox and I became inspired.
The haiku in this contest are of the modern shorter variety. There is no strict 5 - 7 - 5 syllable count in these poems. Rather, the poems contain a kigo (seasonal reference) and most contain a break. In less than seventeen syllables!
The fifteenth Caribbean Kigo Kukai features the word “umbrella” as a prompt and it is interesting to read the variety of haiku that come out of using this word.
Here are a few that struck me.
This one, by Magdalena Dale, spoke to me with it’s simple universal appeal.
Red umbrella -
the sounds of rain drops
around us
I can imagine the color red and the music of the rain working together for this beautiful moment.
This one, by Bill Kenney, won first place.
summer rain
my umbrella
unopened
I love the brevity of language in this one while at the same time it says so much. The whole idea of contrasting caution with joyful spontaneity is so appealing. And in only 10 syllables!
This one, by Catherine J. S. Lee, won second place and is another favorite.
after divorce court –
still, she offers to share
her umbrella
I love how this one gets personal (we like to do that here at Haiku By Two) and I appreciate the way Lee melds the personal with the seasonal. It’s real and contains emotion and yet the emotion is grounded by nature. Fantastic!
Thanks to Gillena for hosting a wonderful Caribbean Kigo Kukai that has inspired me so! And keep checking the site. New contests with different kigo are posted on a regular basis. I hope to try my hand at the shorter haiku sometime soon although I must admit I am not sure where or how to start. If you have any suggestions, please share them in comments!
Hi, Alison!
I’m glad to see you that you are thinking about trying your hand at shorter haiku. I’d suggest that you write a few in the 5-7-5 style, and then play around with trying to shorten them. Sometimes you might be able to use one stronger word to replace a couple weaker ones, or you might notice that there are a few words that really aren’t needed. Also, you will probably end up with some that work better with the traditional 5-7-5 form. Just start playing around with it and have fun!
Comment by Gisele — August 12, 2010 @ 6:38 am
Gisele,
I love that idea! It’s funny, because I have tried to write shorter haiku before and it felt awkward for me. I’ve become so used to 5.7.5 which means that I don’t always use a seasonal reference or a break, although I am doing this more and more.
I think I will play around with an old haiku that is written in 5.7.5 but has the break and seasonal reference and see what happens!
Comment by Alison — August 14, 2010 @ 4:53 am
Good points made by everyone.
Our 3rd With Words International Online Haiku Competition is now up, and you can see the results of our past competitions plus judge’s commentary:
http://www.withwords.org.uk/results.html
all my best,
Alan, With Words
Comment by Alan Summers — August 25, 2010 @ 7:45 am
Allison is really nice of you to feature CKK here at Haiku by Two;
Thanks for linking us
much love
gillena
Comment by Gillena Cox — August 27, 2010 @ 4:26 am
Dear Allison.
here is a bit more material on why or why not to use
5 7 5 in haiku which are not written in the Japanese language.
If 5-7-5 works for what you want to say, it is fine
otherwise just keep it in three lines
short
long
short
that is fine too (not necessarily better).
Here is more
http://happyhaiku.blogspot.com/2000/07/theory-5-7-5.html
Greetings from Japan
Gabi
Comment by Gabi Greve — August 27, 2010 @ 11:10 pm