Comments on: Haiku 383 http://www.haikubytwo.com/haiku-383/ Alison Kehler and Kelly Westhoff alternate turns posting one new haiku each day. Reviews of haiku-themed products, interviews with haiku authors and guest haiku artists. Fri, 18 May 2012 09:56:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Kelly http://www.haikubytwo.com/haiku-383/#comment-1605 Kelly Mon, 18 Jan 2010 23:47:55 +0000 http://www.haikubytwo.com/?p=3577#comment-1605 I'm glad you got the car wash. I was worried whether or not readers would get where I was. I've tried to write a car wash haiku a number of times and have never been happy with what I came up with. The first line of this one came to me while in the car wash yesterday. I changed the last line several times though. It was, at different times... -- road salt disappears (as a seasonal reference) -- it's soothing in here (as it is very soothing in the car wash) The current version (I shift to neutral) came to me in the middle of the night. Not a season reference, but I do very much like the look of this haiku. Wide at the top and narrow at the bottom. I’m glad you got the car wash. I was worried whether or not readers would get where I was. I’ve tried to write a car wash haiku a number of times and have never been happy with what I came up with.

The first line of this one came to me while in the car wash yesterday. I changed the last line several times though. It was, at different times…

– road salt disappears (as a seasonal reference)

– it’s soothing in here (as it is very soothing in the car wash)

The current version (I shift to neutral) came to me in the middle of the night. Not a season reference, but I do very much like the look of this haiku. Wide at the top and narrow at the bottom.

]]> By: Alison http://www.haikubytwo.com/haiku-383/#comment-1604 Alison Mon, 18 Jan 2010 16:48:53 +0000 http://www.haikubytwo.com/?p=3577#comment-1604 Mmmmm.... very relaxing. Why does a car wash feel like paradise? Somehow they are just so cozy.... And I like the last line very much. A simple action breaks the descriptives in the first two lines. Yes, I am still thinking a lot about how breaks work. If I could make my list of things I want to focus on this next year with haiku, that would be one of them. Mmmmm…. very relaxing. Why does a car wash feel like paradise? Somehow they are just so cozy….

And I like the last line very much. A simple action breaks the descriptives in the first two lines. Yes, I am still thinking a lot about how breaks work. If I could make my list of things I want to focus on this next year with haiku, that would be one of them.

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