by Alison

I remember in art school a dear friend of mine once scolded me for doing too much cooking. She said I would never amount to being an artist if I spent my time making fresh tortillas, homemade pies and Pasta Putanesca, food that we had shared together one long hot summer over much conversation and laughter. Male philosophers such as Nietzsche and Foucault, on the other hand, were supposedly proper inspiration for a young artist.

Young art students aren’t the only ones to look down on the domestic as inspiration. The beautiful haiku above was categorized as a “kitchen-ku” by the poet’s male peers. I actually love the term but the intentions are not so innocent - it was meant to belittle the subject matter of female poets as less important.

I think I have always been a kitchen artist. As a young art student I spent my time painting chicken breasts on plates and intricate doilies. Now I write haiku about home and family: my daughter, my husband, my cats, my tea time and even the dreaded housework. I love writing this kitchen-ku. It carries the pulse of my life.

And yet… the feminist in me feels I am not telling the whole story without showing some understanding of my art school friend’s fears. Women are mocked both in and out of the kitchen. If we embrace the domestic we are ghettoized into a role that society feels comfortable with and yet belittles still. If we break out of the kitchen we are often castigated as Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama were during this past election.

So it’s no wonder that women today should have a love/hate relationship with the kitchen. Perhaps in the name of modernity and progress we can take an egalitarian approach.

Afternoon Tea Party by the wonderful "kitchen artist" Mary Cassatt

Male or female, working at home or working outside it, the home and our activities in it are important.

The home is where we can relax and be ourselves. It is a place where we can demonstrate love and also where we are often tested to just get along. It is where we nurture ourselves and each other in the simplest of ways: cooking, cleaning, eating, talking and listening.  And it is 2009 so men should not despair. Men can be great kitchen ku-ers, too!

I wish my art school friend had looked at our laughter, cooking, eating, growing herbs and doing dishes as inspiring to her life and her art as anything else. And I wish that society validated these experiences more. But my friend and I are older now and more confident in ourselves as women. Perhaps we no longer need society’s validation. And if we happen to have the chance again to spend a summer together preparing and sharing home cooked meals and wine - I imagine we would both be inspired.

Find Haiku Mind on Amazon:
Haiku Mind: 108 Poems to Cultivate Awareness and Open Your Heart

Home and Family haiku and kitchen-ku concept excerpted from Haiku Mind by Patricia Donegan, (c) 2008. Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston. www.Shambhala.com.