by Alison

Advice for all moms -

Never forget to take care

of yourself as well.

.Oh, Kelly. I love the idea of Zumba. I love remembering our Salsa days. But here I sit, 41 years old with a bag of frozen peas strapped to my sore lower back. So I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting this week in terms of how I parent and how I take care of myself. Parenting? I’m hardly perfect. But I give it my all and Penny is wonderfully herself. Shy but confidant. Thoughtful. Growing every day. I am growing as a person too but my body has paid a price. Stiff joints. My first big bout of lower back problems. And my love of spas and yoga seems too far a part of the past. Ouch. Giving my all to parenting and too little to myself is not a long term solution and so I am setting a goal for myself. Get back to my roots as a “healing” sort of woman. I remember doing handstands and downward dogs in between college classes to relieve stress. I remember being sure to book an appointment with a masseuse each month despite my meager teacher’s salary. And I remember (Kelly, was this with you?) dropping little tinctures into my tea and claiming that I could feel the energy. And so here I am, googling Pilates and Yoga classes and core energetics. Booking appointments with accupuncturists and chiropractors. And reading books about the spirit. So please, check in with me dear Kelly. And as a soon-to-be new mom, I promise to check in with you.

by Alison

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The Incident:

While I spread jelly

she choo-choos her chair

onto my sockless big toe!

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Denial:

I howl she giggles

I cry harder she laughs more - 

my big toe turns blue

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Awareness:

when she realizes

she hurt me she cries, “I want

to hurt my toe too!”

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Forgiveness:

Instead we share hugs -

“It was just an acc - i -lent”

she tells me head down.

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by Alison

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nursery school drop-off -

she begins to see the world

beyond her mother

.

a brown cardinal

hops along the playground fence -

I drive myself home

by Alison

mom at the playground:

“How wonderful you let your

daughter dress like that!”

by Alison

now I remember…

playing “nap time” with my mom

and tucking her in

by Alison

weeks later I find

my haiku journal covered

in piles of Legos

by Alison

the wind keeps raging -

I hold my daughter closer

and whisper sweet songs

by Alison

“girls are just so mean”

says mom of two boys in front

of two little girls

by Alison

so many mothers

feel too much guilt I wonder

if dads feel the same

by Alison

a braided updo

and Chinese silk dress turn me

into someone new